Paul's Comments

Most subscription TV services, if you take more than the basic plan, have some sort of Muzak-equivalent.

Dish Network used Sirius; DirecTV used XM. Now that they've merged they're probably more-or-less the same.

Comcast uses Music Choice, which is what I have. I'm listening to hits from the 1970s, and they play one I happen to like, "Stuck in the Middle With You," by Steeler's Wheel.

I've heard that song probably hundreds of times. Then it hit me:

I'm afraid I guess I'll fall off my chair
And I'm wonderin' how I'll get down the stairs

I never even thought of that line. Now you have to understand something, when you get disabled and end up in a wheelchair, you're not used to it. If any of you saw my video where I transfer from my wheelchair to my easy chair, you're seeing someone who has more than a year of daily practice. I'll put a window to that video at the end of this article.

When you're first in a wheelchair you make mistakes. You do fall out. You lean too far forward, or you misjudge the distance when transferring, and you end up on the floor. Normal-sized people, you either pull yourself up or someone helps you. Morbidly obese people get 3-4 firefighters from the fire department to pick them up. I probably missed about 6 times in the first couple of months.

If I fall indoors I'll call the fire department or police on the non-emergency number; I don't want to disturb the neighbors and I'm not injured. If I'm outside I sometimes get stuck because my wheelchair hit a patch of mud or something where I can't get traction. I'll call 9-1-1 because it does qualify as an emergency; if it's cold or hot the difference in time could cause me to get in trouble. (Yes, I actually did ask a fire department once; a wheelchair user stuck outside does qualify as an emergency.)

Other than times where I have to get off a chair I don't miss anymore, I probably haven't had an accidental fall off a chair in three years. And I transfer off chairs at least twice a day. I did have to do an intentional fall out last month; I was sitting on the couch at my sister's place and my sister moved my wheelchair too far to reach and it was either go down to the floor and do my business there or #2 on her couch! Which she probably would have carved me up with a butcher knife if I had.

And stairs? Forget it.

I'd forgotten how significant that line is now. Oh yes, here's my video: