Paul's Comments

I thought that maybe 2007 - when I moved out on my own for essentially the first time - or maybe 2008 when I had to move a second time, would be big years for me, but I think 2009 was the biggest.

I moved, ended up in a place that was foreclosed, had to run a house that had problems, made a bunch of mistakes trusting people, got a power wheelchair, got evicted, lose almost everything I own, ended up in a homeless shelter, find that something damaged the power wheelchair and it only operates at 1/2 of the amount of time it did when I got it, got an eye infection, and finally move to another place.

And this was only over a period of about 10 months, from the middle of December 2008 through September 2009.

But as I said in my video [a link to the entry on this blog appears here], I'm coming back, and I'm coming back stronger than I was. I have to learn a few things because I'm going to open a new business. I also need to try to find out what to do about this eye infection that makes one eye weep all the time and causes the other to have light sensitivity. The eye drops my original doctor gave me didn't seem to help - I apparently got dizzy from them and had to stop using them - and he recommends I go see an opthamologist. Now all I have to do is find the money.

Other things I need to do as well, there are a bunch of people who owe me money who ripped me off, and I think I'm going to sue them. Have to do some of this quickly before the statute of limitations runs out. I have a post office box so I don't have to give any of the slime who stole from me my home address. This is part of the same thing that I've had to learn to be hard about, I am sick of being ignored because I'm a disabled man in a wheelchair and people think I'm an easy mark. And you know what, they've been right. I've been too nice, but the problem - if we can call it that - is that I've generally been a nice guy because I've never been good at being a bastard. But I'm learning that I may have to be if I want to get people to treat me with respect.

I hate having to consider the question once asked of a criminal in a movie: "Is it better to be loved or feared?" I've found that when you deal with people personally, the former works better; when people like you and respect you because you're a decent sort, but occasionally that means some of them treat you badly because, in part, they can get away with it. So I may be involuntarily forced to become harder and more ruthless because of mistreatment by others. I hate having to go that way, but it looks like I have no choice or some people who rip me off are going to continue to get away with it.

Suing people is not going to be fun but I'm probably going to have to go that route. I'm sick of some people treating me like a Welcome mat. (I have some nastier terms to describe how I've sometimes been treated but I think I'll go the high road and not mention them here.)